Who should decide?

Decisions

Who (parent(s), child, shared decision) should decide whether your ...

• may stay home alone when your family goes shopping (at 5 years, at 10 years, at 15 years)?
• can stay in contact with both your parents after they divorce (at 4 years, at 9 years, at 17 years)?
• can enter military service (at age 6, at age 11, at age 16)?
• have to wear a mackintosh when going out in the rain (at age 3, at age 9, at age 14)?
• must be vegetarian or not (at age 4, at age 8, at age 13)?
• may smoke (at age 6, at age 9, at age 15)?
• may stay up until midnight (at age 5, at age 9, at age 14)?
• may use the Internet unsupervised (at age 6, at age 10, at age 16)?
• can choose your own religion (at age 5, at age 9, at age 13)?
• can quit school (at 6 years, at 10 years, at 15 years)?
• can join the local choir (at age 5, at age 9, at age 17)?
• may have their own mobile phone (at age 4, at age 8, at age 14)?
• should be placed in a foster home (at 4 years, at 10 years, at 16 years)?

Debriefing and evaluation

• How did you find this activity?
• Was it difficult to answer some of the questions? Why?
• Which were easier to answer and which were more difficult? Why?
• Why did some people have different answers?
• Is there a right or wrong answer to the questions?
• Does the age of the child make any difference to the role they should have in making decisions about themselves? Why or why not?
• Are you involved in making decisions in your family? What decisions are they?
• Are there things you can make your own decisions about? What decisions are they?
• Are there things where you need help and guidance from your parents to make decisions? What things are those?
• What are some ways you can ask for more guidance from your parents?
• Is it important for you and your parents to participate in family life? Why or why not?
• What are some ways you can participate more in family life?
• Do you like the way decisions are made in your family? Are there any decisions you would like to participate in but don't? What could you do to play a bigger role in decision-making?

Tips for the facilitator

• Some questions may be difficult for some children to answer; however, you should encourage them to choose the card or answer that is most relevant to them.
• Make sure you know the family situation of the children in the group you are working with. Some children may not live with a parent or parents, but with a guardian. In these cases, you should involve the guardian(s) along with the parents in the activity.
• Some children will want to explain right away

This game is part of the 'All Children, All Right(s)!' toolkit, which focuses on promoting the right to participation.

• Ask the players to discuss their decisions after each set of questions.
• Ask players to indicate which children's rights the questions relate to.
• Have the players think about a family strategy with their parent(s) on how each member of the family can continue to participate in family life.
• Ask parents to talk to the group about their views on participation in family life, including how their role in making decisions about children's personal matters changes as the child grows and develops.