Kiss the Teddy Bear

A great game to address setting and respecting boundaries with small children.

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Everything you need to play this game

  • A teddy bear or a doll

A step-by-step guide to play the game

1

Ask the children to form a circle.

2

Pass around a teddy bear (or a doll) to the child on your left: player 1.

3

Round 1:

  • Ask player 1 to touch the teddy bear any place he/she wants. Then he/she will touch player 2 (the child to his/her left) in the same place with the teddy bear and pass the teddy bear on to player 2.
  • Player 2 will now touch the teddy bear any place he/she wants, touch player 3 in the same place with the teddy bear and pass on the teddy bear to player 4 and so on.
  • When player 1 gets the teddy bear back, you can start with round 2.


If a child does not want to be touched by the teddy bear in the place the previous player touched, he/she can pass.

4

Round 2:

  • Ask player 1 to touch the teddy bear any place he/she wants. Then he/she will touch player 2 in the same place with his/her hand and pass the teddy bear on to player 2.
  • Player 2 will now touch the teddy bear any place he/she wants, touch player 3 in the same place with his/her hand and pass on the teddy bear to player 4 and so on.
  • When player 1 gets the teddy bear back, you can start with round 3.


If a child doesn't want to be touched where the previous player touched the teddy bear, he/she can pass.

5

Round 3:

  • Ask player 1 to kiss the teddy bear any place he/she wants. Then he/she will kiss player 2 in the same place with the teddy bear and pass the teddy bear on to player 2.
  • Player 2 will now kiss the teddy bear any place he/she wants, kiss player 3 in the same place with the teddy bear and pass on the teddy bear to player 4 and so on.
  • When player 1 gets the teddy bear back, you can start with the discussion.


If a child doesn't want to be kissed where the previous player kissed the teddy bear, he/she can pass.

6

Together with the players reflect on the game by asking questions such as:

  • How many times did you pass? Why?
  • Would you use the same passes if the player next to you would be: your mother/father, your brother/sister, your friend, your teacher, a stranger,...?
  • Is it difficult to pass? Why (not)?
  • How can you make your boundaries clear in everyday life? What can you say to "pass"?
  • Did you ask the player you touched for permission? Why (not)?
  • How can you ask someone for permission to touch/kiss them?
  • How can you make sure you are not crossing someone's boundaries?
  • ...

Extra game information

This activity is a part of the StreetSmart sexuality package. The package aims to give youth workers the tools they need to address the topic of sexuality in a playful way with the children and young people they work with, so they can learn to make conscious, healthy and respectful decisions.

 

Sexuality is a very broad term, encompassing various subtopics. Here, you can find a list of all activities included in our sexuality package to address these different topics:

  1. Sexuality in general: The Sex Alphabet, The Sexuality Goose Game, Yes or No Circle, Sexuality Statement Game
  2. Body (development): Anatomy fundamentals, Who has what?, Physical changes in puberty, Emotional changes in puberty, Life Cycle
  3. Boundaries: Stop!, People to People, Kiss the Teddy Bear, Body Carrousel, (Not) Okay?, Body Twister 
  4. Relationships: Choose Your Relationship, My Ideal Partner, In The Worst Way Possible
  5. Gender & sexual orientation: Labels, Sex Change, Who does what?
  6. Safe sex: The Synonym Game, Condom Smugglers, Goodie Bag, STD-Roulette, Can I get pregnant?
  7. Sex & media: Who is responsible?

Variations

  • 3 passes: You can limit the amount of passes the children can use and give all players 3 passes, for example. When one player has used up all 3 passes start up a discussion: Does everybody have the same boundaries? Why do some children use their passes quicker than others? Why did you (not) use your pass(es)? Is it difficult to use them? etc.
  • Surprise: If you're working with a group of children that know each other well and feel comfortable around each other, you can use the element of surprise. First, ask them to kiss the teddy bear any place they want, without giving any further explanation. Then, ask them to kiss the child to the left of them in the same place. The children that don't want to be kissed in that place can pass.
  • Private zones: Let the children draw each other's silhouette on big pieces of paper or against a wall with chalk. Ask each child to colour the areas in his/her silhouette where they do like to be touched (or kissed) in green and the areas where they don't like to be touched (or kissed) in red. Ask them if they would make changes if the person touching them is their sister/brother, mother/father, a friend, a teacher, a stranger,... Discuss the differences between boundaries in different types of relationships.

Specific learning objectives

  • Learn how to set and respect boundaries.
  • Learn that everybody's boundaries are different.
  • Learn that your boundaries differ in different types of relationships.

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